This is the third book of The Lorn Trilogy. It is a year later and Eileen knows she needs to find resolution. She is uncertain how to pursue this, painfully aware it can never be complete. It is the motivational influences initiated by Kirsty which help her find a route to some kind of inner contentment.
When she has reason to reconnect with Mattie Devlin she becomes attracted to him in a way she had not acknowledged in the past. It is obvious he is pleasantly surprised by the differences in her appearance but also quickly evident his heart is not ready to accept an intimate relationship in the way she hopes. There is glamorous and ruthless competition for his attention. Mojo is a determined lady who will stop at nothing to get her own way.
Dawn stirs on the horizon and still I am contemplating words. The truth would be to scream obscenities across the virgin page and say men like him should be castrated. That would be too kind. I hope his fellow inmates have inflicted their own justice and caused him to suffer.
To see for myself an embodiment of depravity which defies understanding omits any sort of title or greeting. I wonder if it’s ever crossed his mind that he had a child, a daughter who one day would hunt him down. Or if they did what might they find, would the sight of him be more than they could endure.
Straight to the point I say to him:
To the person responsible for my conception,
I’ve always felt affinity for the pleasure beauty brings. I’ve breathed the scented forest and washed away my sorrows in the tide.
It is with difficulty I request one meeting, to learn what created the monster you became. I have a fear drowning beneath the waves of your uncharted waters. Your former footprints are etched in the sands of time. Whoever it was who said all men are created equal was wrong.
But now I feel strong.
Although I do have nightmares of you dragging me down to your sordid depths. Now I fight to float above and need to swim up through the sewer to better things.
I cannot bring you forgiveness or mend the past.
Eileen (your daughter)
26 Oakwood Park,
To encounter in the flesh the raw evil which stamped my DNA could either quell or increase my own self-loathing. It could be dangerous. Surely others who share his genetic pool are not all bad and it would offer comfort knowing their blood also flows through my veins.
A woman should never feel shame for the fire that rages in her soul or apologise for its fierceness. She cannot be forced into silence when there are questions demanding answers which could free her to soar like an eagle.
It was time to post the letter addressed to Portlaoise Prison, Dublin Road in County Offaly containing my request to confront a rapist.